Denise McDonald Dorman

Posts Tagged ‘Scott Hampton’

Stainless & Granite: The Unenlightened Think It’s the New Black in Kitchen Design

In Life Observations on September 7, 2010 at 4:09 am

In some households, the cacophony of couch potatoes screaming at the flat screen might smack of football season. At our house, it means I’m watching my favorite new porn: HGTV’s House Hunters, or its skinnier, richer and even bee-yotchier sister, House Hunters International.

Today was House Hunters International’s HGTV marathon. (I guess they don’t think my ass is big enough already, so they’re adding several hours to my non-aerobic activity). Imagine my delight and surprise when interviewing world-renowned artist Scott Hampton for Dave Dorman’s & my podcast, “It’s Comic Book Day” (free on iTunes, folks!) and discovering that he, too, shares my addiction. Scott summed it up best: Who knew you could buy a chateau in the south of France for a mere $500,000?!?”

I’ve learned much from observing – and cursing out – these clueless home buyers. Are you selling a home in the near future? Take careful note. The new rules for staging homes can be summarized in a couple of bullet points:

#1. People today are way too stupid to notice the true and lovely bones of a home and the potential of its land. They will NOT see past the paint palette or wallpaper that somehow offends their precious sensibilities, so keep that wall cover neutral, folks! Just take your paint cues from some old Pottery Barn catalog (don’t worry, the catalog can be from 10 years ago and the design won’t have evolved at all) and be sure to fill a giant, useless and extravagantly expensive clear vase (say it like you’re from Connecticut and pronounce it “vaahhhzzz”) with useless balls that look like Martha Stewart rolled up some brown old grape vines after her Kobe beef herd shat on them. Wall colors can be khaki, ecru and egg shell. Don’t get too imaginative. Wall art must always be framed in black.

#2. The home could have a crumbling foundation and the most labyrynthine layout, but so long as that kitchen boasts “stainless steel appliances and granite countertops,” that home is…to quote our moronic ex-Illinois Guv Blago…”Effing GOLDEN!!!”

Every single time I see some uninformed couple walk into a kitchen and gush over stainless and granite, I scream at the TV. I’m confident Dave jests when he tells me I learned English from “longshoremen,” whatever that means. Surely Tony Robbins is intricately involved in some conspiracy…like the kitchen design lobbyists got to him, and the next brainwashing session he held down at his Fiji compound was dedicated to selling future home buyers on bad 1998 kitchen decor. Do these people just really not know what a pain in the ass it is to keep fingerprints off of stainless?!? Or how easily stainless steel appliances dent?!? Or how dated these kitchens are going to look in no time?!?

When I think of these house hunters, I can’t help but think of the lyric from The Police’s most excellent album, Synchronicity: “Packed like lemmings into shiny, metal boxes…contestants in a suicidal race.” But these house hunting lemmings are all converging toward one giant design suicide. From everything I’ve witnessed over countless episodes, home buyer individuality is deader than Paris Hilton’s welcome mat at LasVegas Wynn Properties.

All this talk of The Police has made me, in my true A.D.D. fashion, think of the hottest Baby Boomer on the planet, Sting. He should have at least a cameo role on my favorite vampire porn, True Blood. Don’t you agree?

Comic Book Art “Dream Team” Launches COMIX ACADEMY

In Uncategorized on March 3, 2010 at 10:07 pm

Artists Get One-on-One Mentoring and Portfolio Reviews with Top Comic Book Editors

San Diego, CA–March 3, 2010—Five comic book illustrators with super hero-like artistic abilities have teamed up to use their powers for good–helping others realize their dream projects. Dave Dorman, Scott Hampton, Christopher Moeller, Durwin Talon, and John Van Fleet will be teaching Comix Academy, six days of intense instruction dedicated to helping illustrators break into the comics market. Joining them as Comix Academy’s very first special guest presenter will be Mike Mignola.

The workshops will be held in San Diego July 15 through July 20th, dovetailing with the start date of San Diego Comic-Con. The mission of the Comix Academy is to “provide guidance to students in a way that wasn’t available to me when I was trying to find my way in the comics industry,” explained co-founder and #1 Star Wars Artist Dave Dorman.

“We’ve assembled some of the best storytellers in the business to share their talents from visual storytelling and concept work to painting and 3D art. It’s going to be an exciting week!” said co-founder Durwin Talon, educator and author of “Panel Discussions” a book exploring the design of sequential art storytelling by Two Morrows Publishing. Added co-founder Scott Hampton, “The Comix Academy is about focusing on specifics. We have six days and we want them to count, so we’re concentrating on where the attendees are right now with their art. We’ll show students what we’re doing, but just as importantly, we’ll see what they’re doing, what their goals are. I look forward to helping our students polish and improve the art they bring with them.”

To that end, the Comix Academy team will help students prepare their work for the comics and illustration industry, and culminate the course with a final day receiving one-on-one portfolio reviews with world-class comic book editors.

The early registration fee for the course is $950 before April 30th, 2010 and $1,150 after May 1, 2010. Discounts on lodging are also available to students. For more information or media inquiries, please contact 630.845.4694, email denise@writebrainmedia.com or visit http://www.comixacademy.com.

Media Contact:

Denise Dorman

WriteBrain Media

Phone 24/7: 630.845.4694

Email: denise@writebrainmedia.com

Twitter: @writebrainmedia

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