So today they announced the Top 50 Mommy Bloggers. Apparently I haven’t done enough drinking and bribing with the judges. That’s okay. I appreciate all of you, my gentle snowflakes. Each and every one of you.
A little Facebook exchange today reminded me to share with you one of my favorite practical jokes. I executed this operation when I was first getting to know Dave’s family. I had just moved to Shalimar, Florida and it was right around the holidays. Dave’s brother Jeff, sister-in-law Vicky, niece Stephanie and nephew John came down to celebrate with us and Dave’s father, USAF Lieutenant Colonel Jack Dorman. Dave’s niece Stephanie and I hit the mall for some Christmas shopping and happened upon one of my favorite practical joke prop stores of all time (cue up the choir of angels): Spencer’s Gifts.
While perusing Spencer’s, I discovered the most delicious x-rated fortune cookies. As luck would have it (no pun intended), the whole family was going to Dave’s favorite Chinese restaurant that very evening. Stephanie and I were just buzzing with anticipation.
We arrived at the Chinese restaurant and ever-so-casually pulled the server aside and asked her to serve our fortune cookies. I don’t know about your family, but our tradition is that everyone reads their fortune aloud at the end of the meal. Like many ugly Americans, when little ears aren’t present, we end the fortune with the words “in bed” or “between the sheets.” This particular night, we all held off on that tradition to be more appropriate in a public place.
I’d give anything to recall the entire fortune-reading-aloud segment, but all that I can really remember is Dave’s brother Jeff reading, “Tight butts drive me nuts…?!?” as he looked up quizzically with a half-smile on his face. Everyone raced to open their fortune cookies and read them. Dave got really pissed and declared to the server, “What kind of fortune cookies are you serving here?!?” and then he saw it: the tears of laughter rolling down mine and Stephanie’s faces. Once again, he was the victim of my horseplay.
If pranks don’t come naturally to you, I recommend that you, too, peruse Spencer’s Gifts. The props there are downright inspirational. And when you pull your prank, please share it with me here or email me at email@example.com. I can always use a good laugh.